Midlife is the best life- my big revelationSep 14, 2022
I remember thinking that 40 was old.
Today I turned 52 and I don’t feel old at all. As a matter of fact, I feel like I’m just getting started and the best years are ahead of me! I have been reflecting on life and what changed my mind, and I thought today was a good time to share it.
I was at a turning point, a crossroads I guess- my girls had moved out on their own, and my son was growing up and becoming independent. I was newly divorced and with the end of my marriage, came to the end of the hopes and dreams I had for the later years. I had loved my career for more than twenty years, but now it had become a “job” I didn’t look forward to doing anymore.
I was sad, unmotivated, and scared.
The bottom line is- I didn’t know who I was outside of my titles.
If I wasn’t a Mom, who was I?
If I wasn’t a wife, who was I?
If I wasn’t a top achiever in my field, who was I?
I was consumed by the question- now what?
I had so many fears and all of them were rooted in change and the unknown. In a desperate attempt to feel better, I went back to the drawing board (so to speak) and decided to make a vision board. As I was flipping through the magazines, I became more anxious because nothing was jumping out at me… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I had no idea what was next for me. I had dedicated my entire life to building my career and raising my family, and I had no idea what I wanted outside of that.
And then it happened!
A small ad on one of the pages said, “first after 40”. That spoke right to me… perhaps the only way to find out who I was now, and what was next, was to try things for the first time?
And so, the adventure began…
That led to personal growth seminars all over North America. There was a lot to figure out, and every time I went, I peeled back another layer of who I was, and who I wanted to be. I needed to learn to accept myself for where I was at and understand why I felt unworthy and had a need to prove myself. I had to convince myself I was worth it to go, and that it was okay to invest in myself, and put myself first- but after a while, I recognized it was not just a want, but it was what I needed.
With my newfound enthusiasm, I was flooded with ideas for a new business. I was still working it all out in my mind, wondering if it could succeed, and if I could succeed… it became a common practice to record my thoughts into a voice recorder.
This one particularly beautiful day I was driving down the highway with my son in the front seat, he was on his iPad doing his own thing. Or so I thought. I was recording my thoughts about all the changes I was going through… when I had an unexpected breakthrough.
That with my kids not needing me as much anymore, I now had time to focus on myself.
That I was free to pursue my own passions without having to answer to someone else who didn’t understand my ambitions.
That I could take all of my experiences, skills, and education to help other people in a new way.
I knew NOW what I wished I knew back then…
And, I still had my health and lots of time ahead of me to restart my life.
I even had more money than I did raising kids.
Right there, as I was driving down the highway, the words left my mouth and were captured on the voice recorder as I said them out loud.
Midlife is the best life!
I surprised myself and added, “that sounds like a book”! My son looked up from his iPad, he had apparently been listening in the whole time, and said “that’s really cool Mom”.
Just like that, in an instant, a vision was born, and I have been living it ever since.
I love this stage of life.
I don’t know what’s ahead, but I do know this-
Everything that happens in life is happening for you. It all serves a purpose and helps you become who you are meant to be.
So today, on my 52nd birthday, I look back on my life so grateful for the journey that landed me here.
Surrounded by people I love and who love me- doing work that matters.
I have grown in understanding about who I am and can honestly say, I think I’m okay- maybe even a good human being. For a lot of my life, I didn’t feel that way so today I am grateful to have healed that broken part of me.
It’s still a work in progress, and I think it maybe always will be- but that’s alright because I am committed to learning until the day I die. It isn’t over- until it’s over.
My vision is clear, and I now know what is next, yet I keep an open heart and mind ready to receive guidance from the power that is so much bigger than me.
I have learned what healthy relationships are, and although I will always consider my children my greatest blessing and achievement, I am so happy to see them living their own lives- that IS how it’s supposed to be.
I have more wrinkles, more belly fat, and extra grey hair- but I also have more wisdom to know that what’s on the outside matters way less than what is on the inside.
I now see the aging process as a gift and opportunity, I no longer resist it- but embrace it.
Midlife IS the best life.
Thank you for celebrating life with me and sharing my birthday. I hope my stories of awakening offer you hope and inspiration to lead your best life, today and every day. You deserve it.